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Sexuality for Women

how to improve and help womens sexuality

Thanks for stopping in. This information on sexuality for women is actually over 5 years old, so we wrote some fresh posts using the latest research.

Check out Sex Rx: The natural remedies that help women feel more and want more.

Decline of Normal Female Sexual Libido

We tend to think we’re the only culture beset with libido-lowering elements. The latest statistics for America show that 43% of women have some type of sexual dysfunction. Certainly there is no question that our nutrient-poor, high fat diets, over-use of drugs and stimulants, and high-pressured lifestyles do lead to low energy and lack of time for love. But the reality is that humanity in every era has felt the need for help in the sexual area. After all, this part of our lives is at the most basic, elemental center of our being.

Light Your Fire

It’s becoming an old and all too well-known story: In today’s world, most women have to be a “superwoman.” It is expected that women must play the varied roles of wife, lover, mother, wage-earner, chauffeur, care-giver, teacher, philanthropist and volunteer — not to mention chef and bottle-washer!

Pressures on women are enormous and women’s lifestyles are energy depleting. Over 80% of women visiting their doctors today put chronic fatigue at the top of the list of their health problems. This is definitely interfering with women’s love life and sexuality.

Self Test for Women: Is Your Libido Low?

Do you want to boost your sexual response? Here are some important questions to ask yourself about your level of sexual satisfaction and responsiveness:

  • Have you noticed a marked, but unexplained decrease in your desire for sex?
  • Has the frequency of sex changed for you and your partner due to a loss of initiative on your part? On his?
  • When you have sex with your partner, do you fail to reach orgasm?
  • Is it taking you much longer to reach orgasm? Are your orgasms less intense than in the past?
  • Have you lost vaginal lubrication? Does sex hurt?
  • Are you having hot flashes or any other signs of estrogen deficiency, like unexplained torso thickening?
  • Are you too tired for love? Have you been under unusual stress or emotional anxiety?
  • Has your sex life lost its oomph?
  • If you’re a woman in menopause, have you gained unusual weight (low thyroid and metabolism) or lost your normal energy (adrenal exhaustion)?
  • Have you become dissatisfied with the path your life is taking? Are you depressed? Have you been under a lot of emotional stress for a long period of time?
  • Do you feel unattractive or that you’ve lost your looks as you’ve aged?
  • Has your diet deteriorated to fast foods on the run? Has your exercise program diminished?
  • Is there unusual tension in your job? Is your personal relationship unhappy?
  • Have you resorted to prescription (or pleasure) drugs to get through your day?
  • Was your childhood marked by physical abuse or great trauma? (sometimes the feelings don’t surface for years) Hypnotherapy may be effective for you.
  • Do you have circulation problems? Are your hands and feet chronically and unusually cold?
  • Do you have a serious illness that affects the nerves, like MS, Parkinson’s or diabetes?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you can benefit greatly from the many different healing approaches featured on this page.

The Power Of Love – How a Woman Works

Before we get into the programs, let’s examine how a woman responds sexually. This will give you a greater understanding of how my special herbal formulas work to rebuild and enhance a woman’s sexuality at her deepest body levels.

The power of love is the greatest gift of our lives — the supreme extension of ourselves to one another. Love and lovemaking are arguably the most potent expression of human existence. Sexual intimacy with a loving partner brings nurturing and healing energy into our lives. It restores us physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Does aging mean decreased sexuality? No! In fact, it may mean just the opposite, especially for women. Maturity brings experience and relaxation into sexuality. After menopause, most women feel far more spontaneous and much more connected to a loving partner. Psychological factors may govern our rate of sexual activity but once a woman’s libido is awakened, it responds until she dies.

But great sex depends on good health. Most of a woman’s barriers to having great sex are physical — stemming from an unhealthy lifestyle, poor nutrition, stress and burnout, or the side effects of prescription drugs. Even if her sexual challenges stem from emotional issues, good nutrition and healing herbs can make a tremendous positive impact.

Women are highly sexual, but their sexuality is fundamentally different than a man’s. A man is generally turned on by something that arouses him visually, but a woman turns on mentally and emotionally first. After that, physical changes follow. Blood rushes to her genitals, making them hot and more sensitive to the touch. Blood surges and pools around her nipples and ear lobes. Tiny blood vessels near the surface of her skin dilate and cause a “sexual flush,” which increases sensitivity to caresses. As she becomes aroused, her vaginal lining provides lush irrigation to make intercourse more pleasurable.

What is sexual chemistry? How does it work for women?

Sexual chemistry is for real! For women, the entire sexual process begins in her brain, often described as a woman’s largest sexual organ.

The hypothalamus gland, deep in the brain, acts as a switchboard — managing her incoming sensory perceptions of sight, smell, and touch. Hormones are released by her glands in response to those senses.

The nervous system sends blood to her pelvic area, causing tissues to become warmer and more sensitive. The adrenals release adrenaline; her heart beats faster. As her pulse races, she breathes deeper to take in more oxygen. Her sexual fluids begin to secrete. The brain responds by releasing endorphins and she feels even more pleasure. All of a woman’s senses are players in the lovemaking game. And it can all happen in an instant!

Although the entire experience of making love is pleasurable, the climax of the sexual experience is orgasm — a state of intense pleasure. Women say they feel golden during an orgasm. Physically, a woman’s orgasm is an amazing event for a woman. Her muscles contract rhythmically around and in her vagina and uterus. Her heart rate quickens; her breathing deepens. If you’re a woman who’s out of shape, here is another reason to tone up: The orgasmic experience can be even more intense if you have good muscle tone and circulation!

The final phase of a woman’s sexual response is a dreamy state of relaxation that allows her to cool down. She might feel drowsy and drift off in a relaxed sleep. But some women are energized and feel they could conquer the world after good sex. Sometimes women even continue to make love after this short relaxation phase.

Is having good sex a beauty secret for women?

Sex as a beauty secret is a tale that’s been around for centuries… maybe it was even first circulated by men! But in a way, it’s true. Increased circulation to the skin during sex gives a woman’s whole body a rosy glow. The glandular fluid secretion during orgasm may help rebalance her hormone levels. And there’s no question that sex is a wonderful aerobic exercise for the heart!

But, all of these factors depend on the state of a woman’s health. The entire sexual experience is orchestrated by sophisticated conversations that take place between her brain, senses, nerves, glands, blood vessels and sexual organs. Imagine the positive impact vibrant health could have on this process!

Recommended Healing Products for Women’s Sexuality


For dryness and painful intercourse:


  • Take vitamin E 800IU internally for long-term relief. or try Ayurvedic Shatavari (Asparagus racemosus) – a primary sexual tonic for women.
  • Essential fatty acids improve skin tone and lubricate both internally and externally.

Lifestyle Therapy

Certain elements in our daily lives can lead to lack of sexual desire, inability to achieve orgasm and affect our overall health. Here are a few of the most problematic:


All nerve responses are impaired by stress, including those of the brain and endocrine glands. Stress can hopelessly interfere with a woman’s ability to become aroused or achieve full sexual satisfaction.

Consciously practice stress reduction. Something as simple as soft music, a long weekend, or even just some quiet alone time with her lover can turn a woman’s thoughts to love.

Lack of proper sleep

Fatigue keeps glands from functioning optimally and dulls arousal, desire and satisfaction during sex.

Go to bed earlier. Get 8 hours of full sleep every night. Sometimes a short course of the antioxidant hormone melatonin can help a woman get better sleep; 1 to 3 mg are all that she needs reset her biological clock. Melatonin has even had study results for breast cancer prevention.

Environmental toxins

Americans are bombarded with an enormous number of artificial chemicals every day. We’re plagued with additives, preservatives, dyes and artificial flavorings in our food chlorine and fluoride in our drinking water, even pesticides on our fresh produce! Chemicals are everywhere. They not only pose a threat on their own, they also create nutrient deficiencies – especially the minerals and trace elements needed for sexual health.

Eat organic foods. Stay away from red meat. Eat poultry that is hormone and antibiotic-free. Drink pure water.


Smoking is no good for anybody’s love life. It wipes out energy by limiting body oxygen and, thus, stamina. It damages blood vessels, which provide the increased blood flow needed for arousal. Tobacco assaults the body with literally hundreds of toxic substances. Nicotine, carbon monoxide, lead, cadmium, and benzopyrene are just a few that find their way into our bodies through cigarette smoke. Moreover, we lose crucial nutrients, vitamins (C, E, A) and carotenes – all important for strong sexual function.

Women who quit smoking find they enjoy an increase in frequency of intercourse. Plus, it’s a great way to improve your long-term health.


Caffeine stresses the adrenal glands, which provide the material for hormones. A new study shows that caffeine actually decreases testosterone, killing libido. For many women, it interrupts the menstrual cycle. Caffeine also increases muscle tension, making it hard to relax – important for sexual enjoyment.

Limit your caffeine intake. If you decide to quit coffee, try green tea in the morning instead.


Alcohol impairs sexual response by dulling the senses. Like caffeine, it appears to impair testosterone production, needed by both men and women for normal libido.

A glass of red wine can help a woman relax, and it’s loaded with flavonoids that improve circulation. But a glass or two should be the limit if you are romantically inclined.

Sexuality for Women, Food Therapy

  • Hormone-disrupting chemicals in produce, hormone-injected meats, junk foods, and dairy foods can wreak havoc on libido.
  • Avoid red meats; keep fats, salt and sugar low.
  • Soy foods offer a natural estrogenic effect.
  • Cruciferous veggies, like cauliflower, broccoli, and brussel sprouts, help metabolize “bad” estrogens, release bloat.
  • Eat foods rich in EFA’s, sea foods, sea greens, leafy greens, whole grains, nuts, and seeds.
  • Vitamin E foods mean more body moisture — soy foods, wheat germ, seeds, nuts, vegetable oils, and beta carotene foods like apricots, mangoes, carrots.
  • Boost adrenal energy with brown rice.
  • Eat magnesium-rich foods, like almonds, green salads, avocado, carrots, citrus fruits, lentils, salmon and flounder.
  • Celery stimulates the pituitary.
  • Sea foods and sea vegetables boost the thyroid for increased libido. What are Sea Vegetables?
  • Chili peppers heighten arousal by setting pain sensors on alert.

The Libido Diet For Women – Use this diet for maximum results:

Start the first day of your new sexuality enhancing diet with a 24-hour detox, using fresh watermelon juice to rapidly flush and cleanse gland-clogging toxins. I have found watermelon juice works extremely well for women. If you can’t get watermelon juice, unsweetened cranberry juice from concentrate, with a little honey, is a good alternative. Drink at least 6 glasses during the 16 waking hours. Alternate the juice with 8 oz. glasses of water throughout the day. Have 1 to 2 fresh apples if desired.

The next day, make a crunchy B-vitamin mix of equal parts nutritional yeast, toasted wheat germ, raisins and sesame seeds. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons a day on anything you like – a morning fruit smoothie or cereal, a salad, brown rice, etc.

Have on hand several packages of assorted dried sea vegetables, like sea palm crunchies, nori, wakame, dulse or kombu. Snip 2 tbsp. per day of sea veggies over your rice, salad, any soup, or even a healthy, vegetarian pizza.

Or you can make my personal topping. Blend ingredients in a blender (barely whirl so that there are still sizeable chunks):

  • 3/4 cup chopped dried dulse
  • 1/4 cup chopped dried wakame
  • 1/4 cup chopped dried kombu
  • 1/4 cup chopped dried nori
  • 1/2 cup chopped dried sea palm
  • 3/4 cup toasted sesame seeds

Store in an airtight container; then use as needed.

Have one meal a day of steamed or baked vegetables and brown rice. Make sure you include steamed or baked broccoli, peas, green beans, cauliflower, and yams.

Have one large, fresh green salad each day, with plenty of lettuce, cucumber, carrots and tomatoes. Use 2 tbsp. flax oil-tamari-lemon-pepper dressing.

Have soy food once a day. I like miso soup the best because it’s such a strong immune booster (especially with sea vegetables), but tofu foods are also good.

Just as important as what you should eat to enhance libido is what you should avoid that dampens it: Nutritionally depleted, high fat foods, and salty or sugary snacks with chemical additives and trans-fats. Avoid drug stimulants; they only give you false energy. Be careful of all long-term prescription drugs. Ask your physician if you think they’re robbing your sexuality. Remember, a lifestyle that includes a high pressure job is probably going to be stressful. You’ll have to make a conscious effort to relax.

Zinc-rich foods let your pheromones shine through to your lover

What are pheromones? They’re your own individual biological scent – and they can drive your lover wild. Pheromones are hormone-derived aromatic messengers that subconsciously, but significantly affect our sexual development and behavior. They influence our sense of smell and, as such, are a key element in sexual excitement.

The human sense of smell depends on the mineral zinc. So, make sure you’re getting enough zinc-rich foods in your diet to tune into your lover’s pheromones. Consider oysters and other shellfish, turkey, mushrooms, wheat germ, brewer’s yeast, and seeds like sesame, sunflower, poppy and pumpkin seeds. Also try sprouts like sunflower and alfalfa.

Zinc-rich foods also increase sexual function in women. Zinc supports healthy adrenal activity, which combats the negative effects of stress. Healthy adrenals translate into more energy so zinc increases your sexual stamina by making you feel less burned out. It bolsters your immune function too, and may reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

What other nutrients can enhance your sexual experience?

Vitamin E

In foods like soy foods, wheat germ, seeds and nuts – is helpful for sexual problems. Vitamin E is an antioxidant that protects your sex glands from free radical stress.

Essential Fatty Acids

The building blocks for the production of female sex hormones. They also help a woman’s body store more of the fat soluble vitamins (like E, D and K) that keep her sexually active. Plus, they provide moisture and softness to the skin, eyes, vagina and bladder. EFAs derived from plant-hormone-rich sea weeds or flax seeds are especially helpful. When you have EFAs every day, you’ll be solving a world of problems. Sea greens, flax, pumpkin and sesame seeds, cantaloupe, spinach, rice, almonds, wheat germ and bee pollen are all great sources of EFAs.

B Vitamins

They play a big role in a woman’s love life. Your ability to react and respond to your lover depends on your brain’s signal your glands to initiate the hormone production and flow of blood to your sex organs. B vitamins are critical to the development of brain messengers for these signals. Vitamin B-6 is especially important because it controls elevated prolactin, a libido saboteur. It also monitors your body’s balance between estrogen and progesterone, reducing excess estrogen, which can cause severe PMS or or peri-menopausal mood swings in women. 100mg of B-6 significantly supports hormone balance and curtails a tendency to mood swings. Incidentally, Niacin or vitamin B-3, used 30 minutes before sexual activity, can enhance the sexual flush. Increased blood flow to the skin and mucous membranes intensifies a woman’s orgasm.


Vitamin-like substances found in fresh plants of all kinds, especially sea plants and herbs. Bioflavonoids play an important role in keeping blood vessels flexible and the uterus healthy, significant for women who have abnormal uterine bleeding. They also improve circulation to enhance lovemaking potential.

Bee Pollen and Royal Jelly

Full of B vitamins, essential fatty acids and amino acids that spice up your love life. Bee Pollen supplies lecithin, which provides choline to enhance mental energy, feed the nerves and nourish the sex organs. Its hormone-like plant steroids strengthen and activate the glands that produce sex hormones.

Royal Jelly

Contains hormone-like substances that support reproductive activity. It also boosts acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter involved in the conduction of nerve impulses. Better nerve impulses equal more intense sexual impulses. And throughout the ages, women have taken Royal Jelly for beautiful, soft, moist skin.

A woman’s diet is critical to her sexual readiness, her libido and her sexual responsiveness. A good, gland-boosting, hormone-balancing diet has to be part of your program. It accentuates the positive – whole grains rather than white flour, and organic fresh fruits and vegetables. Examples of vegetables that provide nutrients for more sexual vitality include asparagus, cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, tomatoes, squash, zucchini, carrots, peas, and yams. Add tropical fruits, avocado, mango, papaya, citrus fruits, bananas, apples, pears, plums, peaches and nectarines. And by all means, have strawberries dipped in chocolate on those special occasions!

Some of my other favorites:

Soy foods

and other legumes like green beans, which provide plant chemicals that nourish and strengthen the blood vessels and support better hormone levels.

Sea vegetables – A natural aphrodisiac and powerful weight control aid.

Sea vegetables may be the best “aphrodisiac” foods for women. I love sea vegetables because they add such rich flavor to my life and my foods. The potassium and iodine in sea plants boost a failing libido better than any other food by supporting the thyroid gland, critical to women’s health. Sea vegetables are one of the fastest ways I can think of to revitalize the mineral content of your diet.

The ancient Greeks attributed the beauty of Aphrodite (who rose from the sea) to the plants of the sea. Sea vegetables make your skin texture luscious, eyes bright and hair shiny… just the ticket for a sexually pleasing body. Women clearly feel sexier when they feel good about their physical appearance.

Our bodies use the trace elements in sea vegetables to literally rebuild ourselves. Ounce for ounce, along with herbs, sea vegetables are higher in vitamins and minerals than any other food group. They are a rich source of plant protein, providing all the amino acids our brain depends on for optimal neurotransmitter function.

Neurotransmittors, the important brain chemicals that allow us to feel and respond to our emotions, depend upon high quality proteins, essential fatty acids, vitamins, minerals and trace minerals for their creation. The neurotransmitters and endorphins produced from vitamins and amino acids help us transmit thoughts, keep memories alive and be responsive to a lover. Certain neurotransmitters help us relax and are higher during peak orgasm.

Sea vegetables are a great source of the B vitamins balanced with minerals for sound, steady nerve function. The nutrients in sea veggies help restore proper pituitary, thyroid and adrenal functions. These all play a big role in making your body a more finely tuned instrument for making love.

One final note about sea veggies: They are a natural detoxifying element that helps to reduce excess stores of fluid and fat. In fact they can even help you to get rid of cellulite by boosting your metabolism and helping you to burn stored body fat. A smoother, more beautiful you is the result!

I use sea vegetables in my brown rice, in soup, on veggies, and in salads. They’re a great seasoning. The salty taste isn’t salt, but chelated minerals. You don’t need table salt when you use sea vegetables.

Sea vegetables are easily stored and can be added as needed to practically any recipe. Arame, bladderwrack, dulse, hijiki, Irish moss, kelp, kombu, nori, sea palm, spirulina, and wakame are all good. But my favorites for flavor are sea palm (sweet), dulse (nutty), nori (savory), wakame and kombu (chewy and sweet).

Good News About Female Hormones!

As a woman approaches menopause, her sexual habits often change because of changing estrogen levels. Foods and herbs that provide plant estrogens are inherently much safer than those from hormone replacement drugs. Plant estrogens produce a mild estrogenic effect, which offers substantial positive support for normal libido, vaginal dryness and improved tissue integrity of the vaginal wall. And it can happen in just two weeks!

Here are two food sources of plant estrogens: Sea greens and many herbs are rich in them too. Remember that plant estrogen (remarkably similar to our own) balance your hormone levels rather than simply adding estrogen as drugs do.

Flax seeds. Four tablespoons of flax seed is equivalent to .3 mg. of estrogen. Eight tablespoons is the equivalent of .625 mg. (Note: Be sure to use flax seed or ground flax seed rather than the oil. Flax oil, although full of healthy Omega-3 oils, does not provide plant estrogen.)

Soy foods like soy flour, soy beans, tofu, tempeh and soymilk, and other legumes like green beans, provide plant chemicals that nourish and strengthen the blood vessels and support better hormone levels. One cup of soy tofu equals .3mg of estrogen. One to two portions of soy per day dramatically reduces menopausal symptoms and helps to protect your heart, bones and breast cancer risk.

Here are examples of a portion of soy:

  • 1 cup soy milk
  • 1/2 cup textured vegetable protein
  • 2 cakes tofu
  • 1/3 cup soy flour
  • 1 soy burger
  • 2 soy hot dogs
  • 1/3 cup cooked soybeans
  • 1/3 cup roasted soynuts

Herbs For Sex

Herbs have been associated with love potions for thousands of years — for women as well as men. Certain herbs may have a great deal of influence on several aspects of a woman’s sexual response and performance. Some herbs help reawaken her libido. Some boost her sexual energy and stamina levels. Others intensify her sexual excitement and satisfaction.

Normal sexual function requires healthy organs and healthy glands to produce the necessary sex hormones. Herbs are superior body balancers that work through the glands. The right combinations of herbs help a woman achieve better glandular health.

Reason: Herbs are concentrated foods — whole essences with the ability to address both the symptoms and the causes of a problem. As nourishment, herbs provide nutrients the body does not always receive, either from a poor diet or environmental deficiencies in the soil and air. As therapy, herbs act essentially as body balancers that work with body functions. This way, the body can regulate and even heal itself.

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